Is it really a comfort

I was reading Revival Prayer by Leonard Ravenhill. He ask the reader a simple question, Is it any comfort to know that your most recent convert will become exactly like you?

First, I haven't lead any one to Christ in the longest time,

Second, NO! I would even go as far as saying hell no.

I do not have it all together, I do not want people to be like me, I have alot of problems, that need to be fine tuned and wrinkled out. I know that I am being transformed into the image of Christ's likeness. I know that it is a process, I know that it takes time.

This begs me to dig inwardly and ask provoking questions, Am i 100% surrendered? Have I completely submitted to the cross? Have I picked up my cross, and crucified my flesh desires and emotions to it?

I am sick of lying to myself, and I am sick of lying to God. The answer I came up with is NO.

I am deceived, I am deceiving others, I don't have it all together, I am rebellious, stubborn and obstinate in heart. My flesh wages war against my spirit and I do not stand victorious. 99% crucified = pain, agony, suffering with no power!

99% is not dead.

Jesus said that a little bit of leaven will ruin the entire loaf. My 1% is ruining me. I say this to vent, I don't expect any one to agree with me, and I am tired of getting a pat on the back and church folk saying it's cool man, I god loves you bro.

I have tarried to long, and travailed to much to not go without a taste of heaven, and I know that I need more. I know that I have not obtained it. It would be nice, if instead of the pat on the back, other people would begin to grasp on to this reality that there is so much more promise yet to be attained.

If we already have obtained all that heaven has to offer we are screwed, the nations are screwed, our generation is screwed. I know he wants his bride to be spotless, pure undefiled without blemish. I compromise every day, and I broadcast to the world wide web that I am NO ONE!

I feel like if you were to be like me you would become twice the son of hell, where are the people who want to die with me? where are the people who are sick of 99.999999% I am not satisfied. I know God is capable of so much more. But god has said sternly, in a loving manner, you die first. You pick up your Cross! Crucify yourself, A life for Life. Real life, true life, unplugged from the matrix with all of the power of heaven flowing though you.

There is only one way. x

Dark Night

On a darkened night,
Anxious, by love inflamed,
-- O happy chance! --
Unnoticed, I took flight,
My house at last at peace and quiet.

Safe, disguised by the night,
By the secret ladder I took flight,
-- O happy chance! --
Cloaked by darkness, I scaled the height,
My house at last at peace and quiet.

On that blessed night,
In secret, and seen by none,
None in sight,
I saw with no other guide or light,
But the one burning in my heart bright.

This guide, this light,
Brighter than the midday sun,
Led me to the waiting One
I knew so well -- my delight!
To a place with none in sight.

O night! O guide!
O night more loving than the dawn!
O night that joined
The lover with the Beloved;
Transformed, the lover into the Beloved drawn!

Upon my flowered breast,
For him alone kept fair,
There he slept
There I caressed,
There the cedars gave us air.

I drank the turret's cool air
Spreading playfully his hair.
And his hand, so serene,
Cut my throat. Drained
Of senses, I dropped unaware.

Lost to myself and yet remaining,
Inclined so only the Beloved I spy.
All has ceased, all rests,
Even my cares, even I;
Lost among the lilies, there I die.

...John Of the Cross...